10 Apr

I wonder if there is something wrong with me…never being able to focus on one thing. Well…I have been able to do it sort of. Got a few..job offers from places i never applied to. Mostly insurance, bankers, sales, so…meh. I have yet to put the call back to the interact for teaching in japan. Didn’t get into jet so i panicked, got depressed and eventually finished my interact app several days ago. Suppose to call them back on Mon but my net went out so i couldn’t get their number. The thing is…if I do call them back, and then interviewed, and then miraculously get a job…how am I suppose to afford it? The flight tickets, the first month living without pay in a foreign country, business attire..etc. The closest thing i have to business attire are dress shirts and  a blazer/sports jacket..thing. I mean it looks nice but I don’t think it will fly. The easiest solution to all of this is to get a part time job but I am unsure if I can get one and if I can get out of one. You know, the tales of getting into a job that you don’t want but you need because it pays the bills. Anycase… spare time I have been scripting for a game using Ren’py. I…am almost done with it. Just need two more events and an ending. Then i need to draw (using a mouse cause…i don’t have fancy tablet or scanner). I started this when i found out march was unofficial official visual novel month. like 7 days before march ended. Took me like 2-3 days to get a drawing program and get ren’py. Slow net. Also to learn how to do…anything. I got half way through the script when April hit then I was like meh, might as well as atake my time. And here we are. Pretty sure its like blah but I like what I have accomplished. Net died yesterday…it happens since the area i live is boondocks, our closest feature is the freeway. I have been having this pinging pain in the right backside of my skull and pain in my right ear all day. Since some time last night. I googled and it seems nonlethal…anyays….if something does happen, sorry to all my friends that i cut contact with since i graduated. Went through extended lifecrisis coupled with depression and social withdrawal. And sister, if you’re reading this, tell my love I’m sorry and I tried.

In truth, its probably nothing. And no one reads this anyways. But I just…want somewhere to have my last words or like will. Everything to my sis, whether she wants it or not 🙂

Will post someday later.



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