what the actual fuck?

13 Jun

SO! Finals week. In fact, tomorrow, I have not one…but TWO finals back to back! I know that I should’ve studied a lot more earlier but…stuff happens. Well, being lazy. Either way, I’m trying…well…the best that I can call “trying” to study/work but NO. GOD FUCKING NO. My roommate brings over their fuckbuddy (Yeah, seriously, she was his ex-girlfriend two years back) apparently they’re in the same class or w/e. And this was at 5? It’s…3am and guess what?! They haven’t studied! They just…talk/watch movies/etc in the living room. You know, that “couple/cuddle” atmosphere but in the fucking living room and they’re not even a couple. During Finals week. I honestly wish I have a laptop instead so I can LEAVE for peace and quiet but NOPE. Clunky-ass PC all the way! Thank you mother! (Honestly, I thank her for actually paying for it but her bias against laptops ruin my social life…) SO. I’m stuck in my room with that chirpy/hyper/loose moral woman in the living room. Oh, did I mention that she is LOUD? I’m in my room with the door closed and I can hear every word she says…well…say loudly. And that laugh…my god. I can’t concentrate and I can’t exactly go out and say “SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET OUT BECAUSE IT’S 3 FUCKING AM AND I HAVE FINALS TO STUDY FOR” because guess what? She’s my roommate’s fuck/study/ex-girlfriend buddy and that would be rude of me and etc. You know, my roommate came in two hours earlier asking me if I wanted to go break into the rec pool w/him and her. For serious? I have 2 finals, revise final paper, and a final project to work on and I am having a horrible time concentrating due to lack of sleep, malnutrition, dehydration (no AC and my room is particularly hot and it’s hard to go get a glass of water because of the cuddle camp in the living room. No seriously, I tried once and tripped over their electricity cord for the speakers and messed up their movie. Oh, that’s right, they’re just starting another movie after coming back from the rec pool) andddd i’m stressing over all this crap. And apparently I should’ve gone swimming instead of being a loser. Of course, when I take a LoL break my roommate comes back and scoffs at me. I know I haven’t been the best worker but I am trying. 

Fuck.

I just want to sleep because those two finals are back to back.

But the paper.

I can do the project in the morning, almost done.

But the studying 😦

*sigh* it’s just so fucking hot and empty headed right now…

 

PS: When they asked me about the movie and I was trying to reply about how busy I am, they just ignored me and walked away. Not actually even listening to me. I know that I’m flaky and make up a lot of excuses but I have NEVER EVER dissed someone. I have been nice and courteous. At least I think I am to the point where I am proud of it. But it just makes me want to cry. I mean, I try, no. Rather, I just…being nice. But no one believes or cares long enough to hear what I have to say. It’s just excuses to them. So WHAT if they are? What if I don’t want to drink or go party or whatever. What if I want to do my own things. I don’t know why you people, with your words and tones, have to make me feel bad and guilty for doing what I want to do? I don’t know if it’s this or the stress but I’m crying…so that’s going to affect my productivity…haha..

 

No One Reads This Anyways.

 

-El Psy Congroo. 

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